We asked members of The Decorators Forum UK to give us their funny jokes and Christmas stories. This is an example of what they came back with…. hope you find them funny
Where does mistletoe go to be famous?
Holly wood
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
NEWSFLASH…Ireland’s worst ever plane disaster!! A 2 seater plane crashed into a cemetery today!!
How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Just 1 after that it is not empty!🍻 Hope everyone had a good Christmas
Decorators Top Christmas Jokes
While sitting on my bed one night pulling my boxers off, the wife said you spoil those dogs…..
I have a super power!! I know what is inside wrapped presents….
Just back from the vets with the dog as its been eating all the Christmas Dec’s all last night, £120 later………….Bloody Dogs got tinselitis 👌
This is the nuts!!
Decorators top Christmas jokes
This year,I have decided to release a Christmas song called ” Duvet Know it’s Christmas?
It’s a cover version…😆😃😂😂
I’ve just been diagnosed with insomnia…
Jack, a handyman, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”
Jack says, “You know what, I bet he will.” The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.” Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, “You’re on!”
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, “Fair’s fair… Here’s your money.”
Jack replied, “I can’t take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o’clock news and knew he would jump.”
The blonde replies, “I did too; but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”
Jack took the money.
Decorators Top Christmas Jokes
Husband says to his wife “put your coat on I’m going down the pub.
” why am I coming with you” she replies
I was at the cash point and there was a man in front of me. He was standing on 1 leg wobbling a bit. I said ‘ are you ok mate?’
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
Two snakes were talking. One says to the other, “what’s 12×12?”
The other goes, “I don’t know, I’m an adder”.
Decorators Top Christmas Jokes
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